“Perhaps, in the future, you will hold your tongue until you have discovered where the surplus population is, and WHO it is. It may well be that, in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than MILLIONS like this poor man’s child.” – The Ghost of Christmas Present in A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Have you ever visited a church and felt out of place; that you weren’t quite good enough for the in-crowd who already have their “besties”? Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve been deliberately snubbed? Ever had someone who enters the room and makes a point at greeting everyone else while ignoring your presence? In those awkward, uncomfortable moments, one can’t help but make a sure but decidedly quick exit. It’s embarrassing; degrading…and hurtful. This kind of antipathy is so sly, so hidden, yet so real at the same time.
And I’ve been tempted to wonder if something so imperceptible yet so real could be addressed in Scripture. But recently, I was reading in the Psalms, and to my surprise and delight, I found these ancient words from the pen of King David, in Psalm 31:11 he wrote,
“Because of all of my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends—those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery.”
The historical situation surrounding these words has been lost to posterity; some scholars think David may have been writing in connection to the treachery of the people of Keilah in 1 Samuel 23; others, that it illustrates David’s feelings when he was on the run from his own son, Absalom. There’s really no way to know decisively. But I find it extraordinary that Biblical writers like David were so open concerning what is an obviously organic human experience.
One phrase that kindles thought more than others is the last; “I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery.” How poetically and wonderfully expressive is this simile.
Of course, the ancients did what we do today with what is broken, unusable and unwanted, they threw it in the trash bin. Archeologists have learned much from the ancient world, from simply investigating what they discarded. In fact, the Gehenna valley near Jerusalem was known as an ancient garbage dump; a place where the residents of that holy city dumped what was no longer useful to them. And further, that the perpetual fires set to destroy its contents within that dump paved the way for the word Gehenna to be used as an alternative description for hell. Hell being the place where the wicked; the spiritual outcasts of God went after death to burn in a perpetual, never-ending, eternal garbage heap of flame and agony.
So when David, compares himself to broken pottery, he’s being utterly expressive in his feelings of loneliness and abandonment by those in his life he once called friend. So devastating was their mistreatment of him, that they cast him from their lives, as they would a broken clay amphora. They unceremoniously discarded him like broken pottery as though he were nothing. And every time they saw him on the streets, they’d pass by on the other side; ducking and hiding themselves from his view.
David’s experience in this passage hits a resonant chord with me. Recently, I’ve felt the same way.
In my own experience, when a relationship between a pastor and his church comes to an end, the result often mimics that of the end of a love affair. And I suppose that is to be expected but to be honest, I wasn’t prepared for those I once called friend to treat me like broken pottery; as though I were dead. And when I see them in the grocery store they walk the other way. When I pass them in the hallway of the school where I’m employed, they intentionally turn their head and pretend I don’t exist. They can talk sweetly to others; giving a morning greeting to all in the room I occupy, but I am apparently, a non-entity, unworthy of even the common human civility of a pleasant morning.
And since I left, very few have even ventured forth to discover how our family is doing, and this, after years of love and personal sacrifice on my part for their good? We gave all; we gave everything, and now that we are of no further use to them, we’ve become like broken pottery; discarded without even a second-thought; without even an acknowledgement of my existence in their presence as a human being. And yet, these are the same people who proport themselves to be…Jesus followers?
I view this whole experience with a semi-cool detachment and really with a great deal of incredulity, especially when I know that I have in no way, sinned against these people. It is astonishing to me, and it fills me with more than my share of inexpressible shock, that Christian people; people who have been the recipients of God’s extraordinary grace, could themselves be so utterly destitute of any personal graciousness?
I could understand the unregenerate world treating someone in this fashion…but the church? God’s people? Would someone, please explain that to me? Because I just don’t get it?
But beyond this brand of mistreatment, there exists another that deserves mention. That of what James wrote in his letter on the issue of Christian snobbery:
“My Brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism.” –James 2:1
Now most of us, would not consider ourselves to be afflicted with this malady. For when we think of snobbery, we ultimately envision people of great wealth and breeding, surrounded by servants, sucking down caviar who wouldn’t dare to lower themselves to congregate with the unwashed masses of ordinary people who populate the earth. People who love fancy titles; opulent estates; and who associate only with those whose class, rank and erudition match their own blue-blooded pedigree.
This, we think, is the quintessential definition of the word, “snob”.
But since, for most of us, this kind of elitism is not our experience, we assume that snobbery is something for which we are not susceptible.
But does this kind of thing only exist in the world of the super wealthy?
I don’t think so because the essence of snobbery is really to treat someone inequitably based solely upon a supposed personal or professional ranking. Underneath, it’s really the secret belief that we are somehow better; or more respectable or more valued than someone else, not in our social circle…and you don’t have to be rich to believe that. But further, snobbery discriminates between those we deem worthy our time, attention and respect and those we don’t. And you don’t need to be rich to do that either.
Now as distasteful as it is to be a snob in social settings; beyond the personal guilt one may incur in hurting another’s feelings; there is something even more serious to consider about this issue… snobbery is incompatible with the gospel.
The gospel teaches us this:
“You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” –Galatians 3:26-29
In Christ, there are no personal or social distinctions which divide people into worthy and unworthy categories. All are loved, important and cherished by God, and all have one dramatic distinctive which changes everything: All people are those for whom Christ died. And it is Jesus’ death; the blood he shed so willingly as our Passover lamb, which elevates the worth of every man in the sight of God. It’s the death of Jesus that ever lives as God’s commentary on the worth of every human being who inhabits the planet. Wealth, social, racial and rank distinctions are things we have invented but God does not play the game of favorites, as we do.
Therefore, things like favoritism, prejudice, and snobbery are completely out of line with the very truth upon which Christianity is built, for to show favoritism is to live as though the Gospel isn’t true at all.
When you treat others as though they are unwanted, you present the mistaken idea that they are unwanted even by God; that Jesus’ sacrifice didn’t include them; that his death was only for a select, chosen few; only for those who measure up to some arbitrary set of human standards, but to do this is to completely miss the entire point of Christianity. It’s, in a very real sense, to deny the faith or at the very least, to strip it bare of its power and significance.
We ought to know our place! Who are we to deny entry to those to whom God has welcomed into his family? Who are we to pick and choose who’s deserving and who isn’t? But if we devalue a person for whom Jesus died; have we not devalued the very blood sacrifice we claim to cherish? And if so, this is not a far more serious matter, than simply to hurt another’s feelings?
Yet it still remains, that many Christians see no real spiritual connection between what the gospel lovingly screams into the world, and how they treat someone outside their circle of comfortability. They often think that the one has no real connection with the other. Are we really this deaf, blind and dumb?
Yet, it still happens.
Once, my friend Zane related an account to me that he endured at the hands of a large church in the city of Albuquerque, New Mexico. He and a friend had decided to attend a special concert the church was conducting for the benefit of the community. Unfortunately for Zane and his friend, they arrived late and were dressed in somewhat less than appropriate attire in the opinion of the deacons guarding the entryway. They took one look at my friend with his heavy beard; tattooed arms and black rock t-shirt and we’re convinced that he was up to no good. At the doorway, an unpleasant conversation ensued; with my friend and his companion being asked to leave even before they made it past the lobby. And why? Because their external appearance didn’t fit into the “Christian mold” that some in church demand for admittance.
I shudder to wonder, what would have been the outcome had these potential visitors been unbelievers? How could Satan have used that snub of snobbery to prevent forever their entry into eternal life?
How often has that same sad scenario played itself out over and over again in the lives of messed up people? Broken people who stumble into our churches looking for the kindness and grace of Jesus, only to find the “frozen chosen”; a group of smug, self-righteous individuals who act as if they have it all together; and who treat these worldly visitors like they were some kind of eviscerated bug on the bottom of their shoe?
Is it any wonder George Gallup Sr. could write?
“Never in the history of the United States of America has Christianity made such in-roads while making so little difference in how people live.”
Perhaps this why, in the Christian world, there’s a whole lot of things going on, but no lives being changed? There’s a whole lot of thunder, but no rain! In a song entitled, “If We are the Body”, the Christian group Casting Crowns® poses this question to the church:
“If we are the Body: Why aren’t His arms reaching; why aren’t His hands healing; why aren’t His words teaching? And if we are the Body: Why aren’t His feet going? Why is His love not showing them there is a way?”[1]
I’ll tell you why…because it’s pretty hard to notice or care about the need of the poor slob in the gutter when you’re stuck up!
But before we begin thinking about the people we know who really need to read this, let’s do some analysis of ourselves.
Ask yourself: Does our Church show favoritism? How do we know if we have a snobbery problem? Ask these 8 questions honestly of yourself and of your church:
- How closely does our congregation reflect the socioeconomic and racial neighborhood in which we gather? Are we ministering to the people who live in the neighborhood where our church is located even though they may not be of our social or economic strata?
- Would a poor person feel welcome in our church? Would a prostitute or drug addict feel welcome in our church?
- How do we treat someone who is new to your church who doesn’t fit into the Christian mold we have created for ourselves? Are we welcoming to those who are different or are we content to remain in our circle?
- Where do we sit during a worship service? During a meal at the church?
- Is our group ever growing? Or do we have a “24 and no more” attitude?
- Do we initiate conversations with others not of our group?
- Are we cliquish?
- In what ways do we consciously or subconsciously favor some over others in our church? Why do we do this?
Allow me to conclude my ramble by speaking to those who have ever felt like outcasts from the church; to those who have ever been mistreated by Christian snobbery.
Please don’t make the mistake of thinking that how someone may have treated you, is the way Jesus treats or feels about you. The one is not equal to the other!
But what you’ve experienced is not without precedent in religious history. Although there are those in the church today, who like the self-righteous Pharisee, Simon, look disapprovingly at the prostitutes of the world coming into the house to anoint the feet of the Lord; Jesus’ response to these has always been one of love, forgiveness, and acceptance. Remember his words,
“All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” (John 6:37)
Some smug snobby people may have mistreated you, but there have always been those kinds of people in the world…and in the church. They are people who like Simon, just don’t get it. But don’t allow what’s happened, cause you to run from the God who wants you; who’s, even now, pursuing you; and who’s proved that by surrendering his only Son to a Roman cross to die on your behalf.
And if you are a believer, know that nothing of what has happened in the church, changes who you are. You are loved, accepted by God on the basis of Jesus’ death and resurrection. No matter the snub…there will always be a place in the Father’s house for you! You are chosen, not forsaken.
You are who he says you are!
[1] Lyrics by Mark Hall performed by Casting Crowns®. Beach Street Records, 2003.